I love my kids very much. Of course every mother does. But my condition is such that I cannot begin to imagine living without them. My daughter is 25 years old now and my sister referred to me a proposal for her, but I keep rejecting the family because the guy lives in a foreign country and might decide to get settled too in that place. My rejection for this very reason annoys my husband. Also recently I stopped my son from going abroad to England too where he wanted to pursue higher studies and earn more after having completed MBBS. He works in a government hospital and earn minimal but even then I cannot control myself and have pressurized him to let go of this idea.it is because of these reasons that everyone is moody these days. (Alia Qureshi, Lahore)
Answer: Every mother must realize that one day or other, her kids will grow up and would want to leave their home out of necessity. For daughters, this is a common occurrence and if the proposal that you have received comes from a good family then you should not raise objections just because she might live very far away. The fear of travelling over long distances might scare you but you must not allow this to overpower you. Try getting out of your comfort zone to experience travelling over shorter distances and eventually you will get over your phobia. Hence you must not restrict your family and allow them the freedom because only your approving attitude will help solve the household tension.
Facing embarrassment
A lot of kids come to our house every day for tuition; this leads to our house being not very tidy and has shoes and books scattered around it daily. Recently some people came with a proposal for my sister but they did not come to visit a second time, after seeing the sad state of our house. This really embarrasses me since my sister is a true gem in terms of her attitude, looks and mannerisms. I wonder if I should stop teaching so that our house can look presentable too but that doesn’t help really because we need that source of income.
Answer: A person must not condemn himself altogether for a fault even more when there is nothing to blame. Teaching is a wonderful profession; something to take pride in and not resent. To help your situation, one can advise you to keep a portion of your house clean to entertain guests and also to keep the books and shoes in order whenever possible. If the people that came to visit you are truly worth your attention then they will not let such a minor issue thwart their intentions. So you must not worry; a proposal that suits you entirely will come up for your sister.
Fear of parents’ disapproval
My parents want me to become a doctor but I want to be an engineer or one can say ‘wanted to become an engineer’. My parents are pretty adamant to see me as a doctor. Also I have a female friend who has made me realize that I must not waste time studying medical otherwise time for admission in engineering colleges will run out too. I agree with her but I fear my parent’s rejection.
Answer: Before you get yourself admitted in a medical college, talk to your parents. If you make them understand that you will be wasting time and will not have an interest whatsoever to study medical properly then surely they will think about something else. You should do this so that you don’t waste their money. You might have made them aware of your interest but do this again with full honesty and good intention. Try to gain the confidence of your mother first then talk to your father. Parents must realise that they should not impose their wishes upon their children and allow them space to make decisions on their own.
